September 16, 2020

NARC 101: Play #2 Moving The Goal Posts

What did you think about yesterdays game plays with Brit and your NBG! team and the the circular conversations play? Do you think you can use the counter play? How do you think it would make your life better if you did?

We encourage you to start recognizing the NARCs plays in your life and implementing these counter plays so you can take control of your life.

Remember our goal here is to help you recognize the NARCs drug of choice is conflict and to remove your emotional responses to what this emotionally toxic person is doing so you can shift your focus off of them and onto YOU!

So let’s make that NARC-B-Gone! and become an NBG! game-changer!

Let’s begin….

In today’s lesson, we’re talking about another
common NARC play .

This one is the
“Moving the Goalpost” play which is when they constantly add expectations no matter how many of them you meet and they express their disappointment when you do not meet their expectations exactly how they demanded.

FOR EXAMPLE:
After you met your Mom’s demand to come to her home Sunday for dinner, stating, “Dinner will be on the table at 6:30 p.m. and you are to bring a salad.”
Your Mom, Sweet Sue, criticizes you for being 5 minutes late. She also passively comments, ” I guess we will still put your salad on the table. However, because you were late I had to make another salad.”

No matter how much you do, it’s never going to be enough for a NARC.

YOUR COUNTER PLAY:
Here’s how you counter the “Moving The Goalpost”

Play: Don’t show any emotion. Pause and breathe. This allows you to control the tempo of the conversation and recognize the NARC is inviting you into their game of conflict.
Say, “THANK YOU!”

Resist the urge to defend, justify and explain yourself. ( as much as you want to)

Then execute the NBG! 4 to score which is a 4 part mantra you repeat to yourself each time you are triggered by a NARC and recognize they are inviting you into the game of conflict, shame and blame.

The NBG! 4 to score; ( Print this out. Memorize it.)
1. Some people and situations will frustrate the heck out of me ( especially NARCs)
2. I will not allow another person to impact my happiness and peace of mind
3. I will give myself permission to call a timeout. To pause. To breathe and peacefully walk away from any situation. ( this is a wise choice I make)
4. I am responsible for creating a kind and LUV-ing mindset and life! I am an NBG! game-changer!

You can simply say “The NBG! 4 to score” at the dinner table to yourself each time you recognize the NARC inviting you into their game. If you must excuse yourself from the table and go to the bathroom while you are learning how to remove your emotionally responses, do so.


Remember the Goal. “Do not feed the NARC!”

NARCs drug of choice is conflict
Narc’s thrive on emotions- yours!
Instead, learn to spot the NARC’s plays.  
Do not personalize the NARC’s plays ( can be easier said than done) and respond in logical, non-emotional ways.

Be an NBG! game-changer
Of course, this can be incredibly  difficult, because when your NARC does this you feel triggered.

It’s so easy to react immediately out of emotion. Or, sometimes worse, fail to acknowledge the moment inside and just give in to the NARCs behavior.


If you want more help you can join our founder, Brit, each week for group coaching.
Together, you and Brit will huddle together, tackle the fear, self doubt, worry and guilt that creep into your mind when you are entangled with an emotionally toxic person and create your own game plan to freedom. click here to join


Know you have everything you need to change your situation and we look forward to sharing with you and NARCs play and your NBG! game changing counter plays.

Again, we invite you to check out the 9-Step NARC-B-Gone e-Course where we help you dig deep so you can master any NARC’s game and out play them by creating your own game plan to freedom.

We’re in this together!
Brit and your NBG! team